wow

I hate money, why can't I get things in trade like the good old days. I love my car, a 1999 GMC Suburban, but it is so impractical. I know, I know, duh. However when I got it I didn't really have a choice, I needed something to pull my horse trailer and it would have been simply unsafe to have anything smaller, who knew it was going to cost me $700 for tires. Now however I can't afford to keep it but I can't afford to get rid of it yet either.
I don't understand how I can be working full-time and be making nothing, oh yea I get paid shit. I need another job, but I don't have anytime. I already covered this, sorry. I want to go on vacation.
I got the aforementioned device implanted in my arm. It didn't hurt, it was just very strange, I now have a small plastic stick in my arm.
I have absolutely no concentration, probably a bad idea to blog at this time. I apologize for the random collection of thoughts. I will try again tomorrow.

Grump grump grump

So I didn't post the last day or two because I was grumpy. I don't do much at all when I am in a bad mood I mostly just spread my ill temper around. I didn't ride, I didn't do much of anything constructive, I just went to work and made myself more grumpy. Currently, I hate my job. My manager, who has maybe half my I.Q. thinks I'm a skeez. How stupid would you have to be to steal money from your own drawer? Duh. My lack of ability in the change counting department aside, can anyone really make themselves feel bad for not paying for a soda at McDonald's? It's fucking McDonald's, where are all the hippies?
So now I am in a conundrum, I am officially sick of being treated like a brain dead zombie at work, I simply am not paid enough. However I don't know what to do. I would like to put out an ad for horse training and quit my fastfood lifestyle but thats a pretty big risk, it is very likely that no one will want what few training skills I have. I don't have the money to not be working, although as it is I don't have the money when I am working, I could use a second job, but I have no time either,ugh.
I suppose I could cut down my hours at the hell hole and use that time to either find a second job that pays better or to start a training endeavor. At least then I would have another one or two bigger (hah) paychecks coming so hopefully I would be able to find something to do before they ran out. Hmm, I will consider this.
In other news, on Tuesday I am getting the mother of all birth control. It is called Implanon, and is new enough that they don't have obnoxious commercials that cause awkward moments when you are watching television with family. It is a little hormone soaked plastic stick that goes in your arm, only one instead of six like a previous products, that gives all the benefits of being on the pill without the taking of the pill. Oh yea, and it last for 3 years! How fucking outstanding is that. I am psyched to say the least. So in a couple days I can have unprotected sex with a un-previously mentioned partner (monogamis though we are). Yay.

Horses are Dumb

I have this lovely rope electric fencing (electra-braid I believe). It took forever to put all the posts in the ground, set-up all the insulators and actually string the fence,it also cost a small fortune. Now it is guaranteed for something like 6years and none of the five horses or four cows that I have ever had turned out during the last 5 years have gotten loose while the fence was hot. however it is not invincible...
This morning when I got up, my normally impeccable fence was lying on the ground. Now I have had vandals before and my horses are so terrified of the fencing my first thoughts were to blame the sketchy neighbor's kids. So almost jumping up and down with frustration I fixed it best I could and was just a minute or two late for work.
Then early this evening when it was still a good seventy degrees (amazing for April in Vermont) and so I headed out the the barn super excited about riding my little green baby. I skip down the driveway day-dreaming about having a nice stress free ride learning to hand gallop (baby, not me) and popping over a couple little crossrails, needless to say, this was not meant to be. Sure enough, I catch him in his paddock bring him and start grooming, alls well until I get to his left front cannon... Its just hot and swollen enough to warrant the the day off at the least.
So I was doomed to finish the fixing of the fence which took until dusk, leaving no time for riding my fun and fully trained horse. Oh well... There is always tomorrow.

Crazy?

So I won't deny that I am slightly off color as far as my sanity goes, however I found a site that makes me feel a little less of a lunatic. Americansaddlebredsporthorse.com
Its a very sane corner of the web that talks all about how saddlebreds can in fact do dressage and even *gasp* jump! It has classifieds for other slight crazies, forums, articles and helpful links.
When I got my saddlebred baby most people just laughed at me, a close friend of mine refuses to admit that he is not ugly and at best I am praised for "thinking outside the box." Now granted, he is hard to get used to, is rather narrow and gumby-like, but he is a total sweet heart (now that he has ground manners) and learns super fast.
On a good day he properly walks, trots, canters, leg-yields and stretches over his back in a long loose frame. On a bad day... he goes around like a giraffe, refuses to bend and prefers to go sideways. However there are many more good days than bad and the bad days are slowly becoming bad warm-ups.
He has been "started" over crossrails, if started can be scaled down to include 2 days a month or more ago when a friend decided he would be cute as a jumper. He was! He was forward and willing and brought his little black knees up to his eyes. I can't wait for the snow to finish melting so I can continue his slightly stunted jumping education!
All-in-all, he's weird but not half as weird as me and therefore I am destined to like him, and hopefully sell him this summer for some kind of prophet...(haha)

If I Had a Topic, I Would Be Off

I don't get celebrities. When you get into the kind of business, aren't you prepared to become famous? I mean unless you suck, but your still hoping right? So I have no sympathy for them when they have creepy people stalking them and cameras in their faces constantly. I also don't understand all the people who defend their "right to privacy."
Honestly people, they know what they have coming, and seriously they fucking deserve it. There are plenty of famous people who keep their private lives private. Take Kate Moennig, she is an actress from L-Word, and is plenty famous in her own right (a personal obsession of mine). The public doesn't even know if she dates men or women! She wanted to keep that a secret, and has done so. Remember when Angelina Jolie disappeared for a couple months, possibly years? No one knew where she went, she stopped making movies and apparently fell off the end of the earth. She came back when she was ready. Many stars have done this over the years, leave the spotlight for awhile, and return when they feel inclined to do so.
I guess I feel kind of bad for them when paparazzi interrupt private moments, but granted they are having their "private" moments in public places, a.k.a. a restaurant. I don't know, I guess I am just saying that in all businesses you have some good and some bad. For those in music and movies you get paid out the ass for a little bit of talent, but you have to have every single moment of your life televised as well, thats life I guess.

Times Change, but not for long

So I think I will be crying near the end of the summer. I would like to live in a big city for awhile, I have always wanted to, which means no horses. I decided that while I can never sell my draft cross, I could part with him for a lease to the right home. I posted an ad on dreamhorse and lo and behold I got a couple responses. Granted I didn't think it would take long, he is sound and has no vices and can do anything you ask of him, but still I wasn't ready to look reality in the face quite yet.
Louis and I have done anything and everything riding bareback and double in huge open fields. Showing at serious snooty dressage shows (and kicking ass) and at little disorganized low level events (and kicking ass). Pony club, 4-H you name we have probably tried it, and succeeded. He has been trailered as far as from Florida to Vermont and as near as numerous friends houses for the weekend. I've been with many trainers, some serious and scary some laid-back bordering on dangerous. Done natural horsemanship, dressage, eventing, jumpers and *shudder* a little bit of hunters.
Through all this he has learned new things and taught me many many more. Though some mornings he might be grumpy he has never been mean or malicious in anyway. I will make sure that where ever he is going he will get the best of care and will always have a place to come home to. I can only hope that whatever young rider is privileged enough to get him will respect him and appreciate him that way I have.
I don't know if I will be going anywhere far away anytime soon, but I surmise that I won't be away from horses for very long, and therefore soon enough I will be able to pick up where I left off with my beatific pony.

First blog, yay?

So I have never had a public blog, mostly it will be a small day-to-day of my life. Yes I am a college dropout. I don't know what I want to do with my life, but I thought putting down my thoughts might be useful in the future.
I went to a tiny high school in Vermont, barely graduated and went on to a single year at the University of Findlay in Findlay, Ohio. I was an equestrian major (horseback riding), and just to let you know, this degree is bullshit. You learn everything you would learn taking lessons and hanging around a well -run barn, except you pay $28,000 a year.
After my disastrous year of college, I worked at my families nursery for the summer. During that summer I dumped my boyfriend of 3 years, who had moved to Ohio for me, tragic I know, for my best friend. (That makes me bi for future reference) Then while still with her I moved to Maryland to be working student at an amazing eventing farm. I would have loved it, if my heart had not been in Vermont. So although I came up with other reasons to justify my leaving, it was truly because I was desperately lonely. I found a similar job at what seemed like a decent dressage farm, only to have my boss lose her mind 2 weeks later.
Not a week after this the girl I had moved back to Vermont for dumped me. Karma can really bite you in the ass can't it? So now I was left with no money, a truck and trailer, two horses I was responsible to keep fed and very un-understanding parents. Which is how I ended up here, working at McDonalds to pay for my horses grain. I don't know where I want to go, or how to get there. For now, I will just have to be content.

Ali